Social Paradigm

09:54 am

Little Mimi has been stalking my feet. Everywhere I go she's hiding in a corner ready to pounce with her claws and teeth ready. I'm so scared of such a little thing. Then she's all sweet and falls asleep on my lap. What a lazy spoiled little bum.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

Current Mood: thirsty

06:17 pm

No one is responsible for your happiness so don't be bitter. Seek it out and enjoy the search. Do not demand and expect love. Be appreciative and hold on to it when it chances to grace your life. ^^

Current Mood: calm

01:02 pm

Death scares me. It's not the act of dying, but the concept that when I die ... there will be absolute nothingness. This consciousness will be gone. My sense of being will vanish. That civilization will continue, that life will evolve, that the universe will keep expanding (or maybe not ... I'm not really up to date with those theories), that I am completely insignificant, scares me. If I were an ameoba, I probably wouldn't be so worried about such things. But I am self-aware.

It's like the part in Hitchhicker's Guide where to execute Zaphod Beeblebrox, they put him in the Total Perspective Vortex:

"The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses.
To explain-since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation-every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake.
The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order to annoy his wife.
Trin Tragula-for that was his name-was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
And she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic analyses of pieces of fairy cake.
"Have some sense of proportion!" she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.
And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex-just to show her.
And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion."

I like this quote ...
"Though the fact of death destroys us, the idea of death can save us."

I like psychological defense mechanisms. They help to keep me sane.
Defense mechanism of the day: isolation of affect.

Current Mood: blank

11:51 pm

Once upon a time there was a little girl. And innocent gullible little girl. Before she went out into the world her mother told her "Be careful, be smart, don't trust everyone." But she was a foolish little girl. And a very slow learner. She loved all and trusted all. In the end the little girl killed herself. The end.

12:38 pm

Can it be? Just one more week? To leave this frozen hell and go ..... home. Yes, yes, could there be a less exciting spring break? Probably not. But I must say I am looking forward to going home. It will be my body's checkup and maintainence, which it greatly needs. After going this whole semester with a new ailment every week, I think it's time ... sigh ... to go to the doctor. I haven't gone in, oh, almost 3 years (if you don't count my trips to the clinic this semester). And in the next week I will have three appointments. Yay for being stuck, probed, prodded, and all that other good stuff. Dunno how I could've gone so long without it.
But before all that excitement happens, I have this week to conquer. I'm finishing the health committee application and I'm struggling over my personal statement. Why do I want to be a doctor? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .......................... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................ Everything sounds so contrived. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................
My resort to avoiding this predicament ... final fantasy XI (the online one). Ok, ok, I admit it, it's not just a procrastination method, I am actually severely addicted. Ok, so now that I've admitted that I have a problem, does this mean I'll get better now? =) Hmm, if anything the end of the free subscription trial should kill the addiction.
Today, I get to do a DNA extraction in lab. First fun thing! =) 4 hours to do it though... But Jenna, the doctorate student that I'm working with is awesome, so it shouldn't be too bad. Ithaca just needs to stop snowing!

Current Mood: awake

09:14 pm

"Love just leaves you bruised."

Current Mood: crazy

08:52 pm

And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
Cuz all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Got lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans
And never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell 'em your name

And scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

We grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell 'em your name
I won't tell em' your name
I won't tell em' your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are
Come back down
And I won't tell 'em your name

Current Mood: melancholy

06:18 pm

All printers are evil

My 6 ft. long icicle is gone =(

Current Mood: frustrated

03:42 pm

Clara on M0o's gigantic balls ...
"Mimi, why is M0o's butt so big today?"
"Uhhhh ....."

Current Mood: amused

11:09 am

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

07:30 pm

Home is good. Sleeping past noon everyday is good. Clara is wonderful. Parents are a blessing. Time with Rosie is great. M0o is stinky. Sore muscles and twisted ligaments are bad but are good in the long run. Ian withdrawl is very very bad. Hearing his voice is bliss.

Current Mood: hungry

09:20 pm

Oh I'm so proud! My little sister can swim 25 yards breaststroke in 28.30 seconds. Sniff ... she's all grown up.
Parents are thinking about getting an SUV. Can't understand it ...

Current Mood: pleased

09:14 pm - RETURN OF THE KING: EXTENDED EDITION

50 extra minutes!  50!!  20 hours of extra footage!  20!!

Be still my heart.

Current Mood: excited

12:45 am

Patti cooked =O ... and it was good! =O
Got drunk cause of stress.
Ran out of applesause, even though it was a giant bottle.
Do you get that warm fuzzy feeling inside? For me it's always accompanied by tingling hands.
Today was a good hair day. Might as well be appreciative when it happens.

Current Mood: content

02:04 pm

I love my cooking.
I don't know how to eat. I drop food everywhere.
Yogurt and applesauce need to come in bigger serving sizes.
Muffins are healthy. They have blueberries.

I love my Ian.

Current Mood: chipper

10:36 pm

I had to delete Return of the King cause my computer didn't have enough memory. My computer then proceeded to die on me.

Current Mood: sad

12:00 am

I tip my Yankees hat to the Boston Red Sox, they couldn't have done it in a more dramatic way.

Current Mood: impressed

09:41 pm - During a shitty week sometimes it's easy to forget

The people and things in my life that make me happy are what matters in the end.

Current Mood: calm

12:24 am

"Me?  I'm dishonest.  And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.  Honestly.  It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly ... stupid."

Current Mood: thoughtful

12:35 pm

I want to play my guitar!
NOW!

Current Mood: bored